Alice
by Darth-Wing-Duck
Summary: Alice has spent the last ten years of her life in Rutledge Asylum after the death of her parents. But a mysterious voice from a dream she can't remember becons her back to a world she'd forgotten. A modern take on the story, with a dash of McGee's Alice.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first time writing anything Alice related. It's always been my favorite story and I've always wanted to write my own take on it. I really liked the world American McGee created in his version of Alice, so I figured I'd use that as a jumping off point for my story. So, enjoy the first chapter of 'Alice', then **review** it and tell me what you think! And remember, only you can prevent forest fires.**

**Alice**

**Chapter 1- A Shattered Looking Glass**

I can still hear them screaming. Night after night it's the same thing. I lay in my bed, hoping that maybe this time I'll have a dreamless nights sleep, but the dreams come, and with them come…_the nightmare_.

It's always the same nightmare. It starts in a magical place, somewhere I vaguely remember from my childhood, having a party with my friends there. Suddenly, they begin to panic, yelling for me to wake up. When I do I see that my room is engulfed in flames. I scream and run to my parents' room to find them, but when I touch the knob my hands are burned from the searing hot metal. I call for them, and I hear them screaming. I hear them screaming. I hear them dying.

Then I wake up, screaming. I used to wake up crying, but my tears have run dry and I've forgotten how to weep. It seems I've forgotten a lot over the years. I've found that it's much easier to forget than it is to hold on to painful memories. I've had the same dream every night for the last ten years. _Ten years_. It's enough to drive someone mad! Of course, in my case, it doesn't matter. I'm already mad. That's why they locked me away, wrote me off as just another poor soul perpetually slipping away from reality. Can't blame them really, I'd lock me away too.

* * *

A nurse comes in and greets me. I think that it's the same nurse that came in yesterday morning, and the morning before that, and the morning before that, etc., but I'm not sure. The days just sort of blur together for me now. She throws open the curtains to let in the morning sun and I pull the covers over my head to keep it away. "Come now, dear!" she says, "It's a beautiful day, wouldn't you like to go outside for a change?"

I don't reply. I have a reputation to uphold, I haven't spoken to anyone but my doctor in the ten years I've been here. At first it was out of trauma, now it was really more of a game for me. A small way to keep myself entertained in this prison. My doctor hates when I called it that. He says that it's not a prison, I'll be free to leave when I'm cured. "There is no cure for me." I always tell him.

The nurse tries again to get me out of bed. I throw the blankets off the bed in a huff and stare at her, pouting, but eventually my frown turns into a polite smile. She helps me out of bed and to the bathroom to wash up. Showering is my favorite part of the day. Every morning I let the water wash away the images that the nightmare brings to my mind. I finish and head over to the mirror to brush my hair.

I look at my reflection, staring at this strange girl who always stares back. Long blonde hair, pale skin, and ocean blue eyes that could drown almost anybody. I had to admit, if I weren't insane I would probably have been a pretty popular teenager. I brush and dry my hair and apply the little bit of makeup they let me have here, then look back at my reflection. Yes, I definitely would have been popular, in another life perhaps.

* * *

I had somehow managed to accumulate an impressive wardrobe over the years despite never leaving the asylum. Ten years is a long time, and one tends to do a lot of growing between the ages of eight and eight-teen.

There was only one dress I've had for all ten years I've been here. The dress I was brought to the hospital in. It's a small blue dress _(that is to say that it's quite small now but was actually a bit too big for me when I was younger) _with a white apron sewn to the front. It had been singed pretty badly in the fire, but for almost three years I refused to take it off unless I absolutely had too.

Besides this one, there was only one other blue dress. Something I'd made myself two years ago. It was a larger version of the little dress, and every detail was exactly the same. Except for the size of course. During one of my "moods", as they call them, I even took the time to burn the dress in the exact same places the other one was, in the exact same shape but to a larger scale. I decided that I'd wear this one today.

The nurses and doctors hated when I wore this dress. They'd try to tell me that it was unhealthy, and I'd simply stare at them with a blank expression like I didn't understand until they left me alone. I do play up the insanity thing a bit sometimes, when it helps me get what I want.

* * *

I thought about going outside, but I decided against it. Besides, it looked like there was a storm coming. I hate when there's a storm while I'm trying to sleep, it makes the nightmare even worse. Maybe it'll pass early in the day and be cleared up before nightfall. It won't though, not with my luck.

I spent a few hours at my desk, drawing. I'm not a very good artist, but I wouldn't say I'm terrible either. Mostly I just doodle things that come to mind. It's always the same characters though, shadows from a distant memory. They were from that dream world, that magical place that I couldn't remember. Why can't I remember?

I try to put the memory to rest and return to my drawing. I finish and hold it up to admire my work. It was a picture of a funny looking man who was wearing an oversized top hat, sitting at a long table with a rabbit…or maybe it was a hare? I can never tell the difference honestly. On the table there was a tea pot and a little mouse was poking its head up out of it. They were having some sort of party.

The image brings a warm smile to my face, and I decide to tape it to the wall next to my bed. The entire wall is covered in these drawings. The entire room would have been covered if they'd let me keep the drawings I'd had before they moved me out of the children's ward. The room I live in now is pretty nice, if a little under furnished. There's my bed, my desk and two chairs. My dresser is inside of the small closet I have. Now that I think about it, it's almost depressing just how empty the room is.

* * *

The day passes uneventfully, just like every other day. If you were hoping for some sort of psychotic episode, sorry to disappoint you. Honestly, it's been almost a year since my last episode. My doctor has tried to get me declared sane, but I always come up with something to change his mind. I like it here, I'm safe here. The world outside of the asylum is harsh and unforgiving, and takes our loved ones from us when we need them most.

I didn't always like it here though, and I've tried to leave my_ own_ way a few times. The scars on my wrists are proof of that. They won't let me near sharp objects now, which makes it really hard to butter my toast at breakfast. I think they tend to overreact a bit.

* * *

Night falls, and I start getting ready for bed. I go to the bathroom to shower and brush my hair. As I pass the mirror over the sink I notice something off about my reflection. I walk back over to it and stare at my reflection. The eyes are different, darker, sinister. This girl in the mirror is not me. She smiles, but it's not a kind smile. "It's your fault you know." she says.

"What are you talking about?" I'm starting to panic now.

"It's your fault that mom and dad died."

"No, it's not my fault. I tried to save them!" Tears start forming in my eyes.

"They screamed for you to save them and you ran. You killed them!"

"Please, please leave me alone." I fall to the floor and sob into my hands.

"You're pathetic, you don't deserve to live. Poor Alice, can't do anything right. Can't even kill herself properly!"

"Shut up, shut up, **SHUT UP!**" I can't take it anymore. I scream and punch the mirror, again and again until there's nothing left. Then I sink back down to the floor and cry. My whole body is shaking with pain and anger, my hands are sore and bloody and covered in shattered glass. After a little while I finally work up the strength to stand.

I look to where the mirror had been and gasp. Where only moments ago an ordinary looking glass had been, there was now a large, gapping hole. The sides of it are dirt, which can't be possible since I'm on the third floor of the building.

_"Alice," _a voice calls from inside of it, _"come back to us."_

I've had hallucinations before, but never this vivid. I wipe my eyes and climb inside of the hole. I guess that if you're going to go insane you might as well commit to it. I crawl for only a minute or so before the tunnel drops off into a pit. I scream in surprise as I suddenly begin falling. This is going to be a long night, I just know it.

((***Update: Aug. 8* Fixed a few grammatical errors that I found and am still searching for more. I don't like publishing anything with errors so if you find any please let me know. **

***Update 2: Sep. 26* Minor alterations made, you probably won't even notice them, they were just bugging the hell out of me. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my writing, everything has to be just right.**))


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- Down the Rabbit Hole

When I was seven I fell out of the tree in our front yard. I was climbing it to catch a caterpillar I saw on one of its branches. I can still remember the feeling of dread I had while I was falling, the pit in my stomach that could feel that pain was coming. Time seemed to stand still for a moment, then impact.

I broke my arm when I fell, and my father rushed me to the hospital. The whole way there he tried to calm me down and tell me that everything was all right. It's one of the few memories I have of my parents before they died. Even that memory is associated with pain.

* * *

I've been falling for some time now, I wonder if there is a bottom at all. That pit in my stomach and feeling of dread I'd had when I first crawled into this hole dissipated some time ago. I actually feel a bit bored now. I wonder if that's usual for someone who falls to their death. About midway down you just start thinking, "How much longer is this going to take? I already know I'm going to die, I'd rather just get it over with!" Maybe it's just me.

I've been mostly curious as to how a dirt tunnel, and one as impossibly deep as this, managed to get inside the building at all. At first I just thought it was one of my hallucinations, but everything feels too real. Dream or not, though, I wish I'd hit the bottom soon, I'm getting hungry.

* * *

As if in answer to my thoughts, I finally feel my feet touch ground. It's not a rough landing, like I'd expected. It actually felt like it would if I'd only fallen a foot or so.

I try looking up back into the hole, but to my surprise there's a ceiling above me. Curious.

Ahead of me there's a hallway. I can hear that voice again coming from inside of it. _'Alice, keep going, you're almost there.' _I wonder where _there_ is. I hope they have food _there_.

I keep following the voice, deeper and deeper into the hallway. I can't tell if it's just me, but the hallway seems to be getting smaller. Or maybe I'm getting larger. No, that's not it, I'd know if I were larger.

Up ahead I can see a small door, only about the size of my hand. The voice is coming from the other side of it. It's too far away to reach, and the hallway is too small for me to go any further. I sigh and lean against the wall, pulling my knees to my chest. Well, this adventure ended prematurely.

* * *

Wait a tick. What's this? Down by my feet there's a small bottle with a label attached to it. It says _'Drink Me!'_ I guess it's worth a shot. I pull the cork out and down the silvery liquid inside of the bottle. _Yuck! _It tastes like earwax. I managed to gag it down despite myself.

I think my mind might be playing tricks on me. Now the hallway seems to be growing. Or maybe I'm shrinking? No, this time I'm sure that I'm shrinking, my clothes are getting too big for me. I continue down the hallway, which is increasingly easier to get through as inches are shaved off my height. By the time I reach the door I'm small enough to sit comfortably inside my own shoe. Good lord! I'm naked!

* * *

After fashioning some make-shift clothes from what I had been wearing, I turn my attention back to the door. It's taller than I am, and I'm eye level with the handle now. I try looking through the keyhole, but I can't see anything on the other side.

Damn! It's locked. Great, now what am I supposed to do?

"_Behind you, Alice."_ the voice whispers.

I turn and find a key leaning against the wall. It's almost as large as I am, and I'm sure with my diminished muscle mass I won't be able to pick it up.

"_At least try." _I hear. Oh well, here goes nothing. I reach for the key and am surprised when I raise it over my head without any effort at all.

I put the key into the keyhole and turn it. There's a small click and the door begins to slowly creak open by its own accord. Sunlight begins to flood the hall, blinding me for a moment. After a few seconds my eyes adjust to the shift in light and I'm able to see what's outside.

Just beyond the door is the most beautiful garden I've ever laid eyes on, stretching as far as I can see in every direction. Well, every direction but towards whatever building the door is attached to I imagine. I take to deep breath and step out into this strange world. The door slowly shuts itself behind me.

****This chapter is a little short, I know. I couldn't think of anything to write for it, but I knew I wanted to build up to unveiling my version of Wonderland. Chapter 3 is coming soon, I promise!****


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3- The White Rabbit **

There's a wall in my room of the asylum that is covered with drawings of mine. Images from my mind of a dream world I created when I was a child that I've long since forgotten. I never tried to forget this place, over time the memories simply faded away.

I do recall a few of the drawings, some of the creatures from this world that would appear in my nightmares. One is of a strange looking cat with a large, grotesque smile, a rabbit wearing a waistcoat and pocket watch, a mouse, a deranged looking hare and a man wearing a top hat.

Sometimes I can't help but look a these sketches and wonder…how fucked up is my subconscious?

* * *

You know, any normal person probably would have been disturbed by the fact that they just fell down a hole for roughly three hours straight, landed safely in a hallway, shrank, then found themselves outside in a garden. I guess that's why I'm not normal. Of course, I still don't know if this is reality or my imagination.

If it is all just some elaborate hallucination, conjured up by my own fractured psyche, then it looks very convincing. I can feel a slight breeze blowing my hair, smell the fragrant flowers, and feel soft earth under my feet as I make my way through the garden.

Maybe I'm still in the asylum, tied down to the bed so that I don't hurt someone (including myself), with doctors looming over me in fascination as I toss and turn in my sleep. It wouldn't be the first time.

* * *

My thoughts are interrupted by a strange sound coming from nearby. It's a soft-pitter patter sound, like a small animal running through the grass, and it seems to be getting closer. A white rabbit emerges from patch of flowers and stares at me intently.

"Hello there little guy." I call to him trying to get him to come closer. He stays completely still.

"I won't hurt you." I whisper reassuringly.

"It's not you I'm worried about." the rabbit says.

My heart skips a beat and I almost feint. The rabbit comes closer.

"You wouldn't, by chance, be Alice would you?" he asks.

I try to speak, but words won't come out. I think my brain short circuited. "Y-yes." I finally stammer.

"You need to come with me. I'm to take you to the Hatter as quickly as possible."

* * *

The rabbit turns and begins to bounce off in the direction he came from. My feet are unable to move, as my brain is still trying to process what I think just happened.

_Okay, Alice, let's think about this for a second. There's absolutely no way that a rabbit just spoke to us. This is all just in your head. You're still in the asylum, and any minute you'll wake up._

I wait for a few seconds with my eyes closed, for once looking forward to opening them and being in my room at Rutledge.

"Are you coming or not?" I hear a voice call, annoyed.

I open my eyes and see the rabbit staring at me again, still standing in the garden. Completely on their own accord, my feet start carrying me off in his direction, following him out of the garden and over the hills beyond.

* * *

While my body is on auto-pilot, I'm still trying to make sense of what's going on. Apparently, talking animals is where my mind draws the line between what it thinks could be real and what it knows is not.

_Focus, Alice. We've already established that this is a hallucination. A very realistic hallucination, but a hallucination none the less. Now, we just need to remain calm and go along with it until we wake up. Until then, I advise we just enjoy the ride._

Finally snapping back to reality-or, rather, this pseudo reality- I notice that the rabbit has led me into a forest. "The Hatter's house is just around this next bend." he says. As we come around some trees a large hut comes into view in a clearing. The house is shaped like a large top hat. "Come on," the rabbit calls, annoyed again, "we're late!"

"Late for what?" I ask.

"The tea-party!"

****Author's Note: It took a lot longer than I'd hoped to finish this chapter, I ran into a bit of writer's block.**

**I wanted to explain a little bit about Alice's personality that I don't feel is too clear. My Alice has a very duel personality. There's the persona that she pretends to,and really wants to, be: strong willed, independent and almost cynical (almost like American Mcgee's Alice). Then there's her real personality: naive and childish (like the original Alice). Obviously, this comes into play when she tries to reason things out in her mind.**

**Chapter 4 will hopefully come much faster than this one did.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4- Through The Tulgey Woods**

When I was younger my parents bought me a pet rabbit. It was the best present I'd ever received, and I loved him with all my heart. Every day I'd take him out with me into the garden, and he'd nibble on carrots I'd give him while I read or played. Through him I learned nurturing and compassion.

Unfortunately, I also learned about death through him. One afternoon in the garden, he managed to wander under the gate and into the road before I could notice he'd gone missing. My father helped me bury him in the backyard, and told me that we could buy another rabbit if I'd like. I told him no, I didn't think my heart could handle another death.

Two more soon followed. And I was right.

* * *

Just around the next bend, the rabbit had said…almost an hour ago. I always assumed rabbits would have a decent sense of direction, but it appears my new friend has gotten us terribly lost. I think he's too nervous to admit it.

"Are we lost?" I ask him.

"N-no." he stammers, unconvincingly, "We're just turned about a bit. That's all."

I sigh and continue trudging over the cluttered forest floor. I really do wish I could help him, but these woods seem to stretch on endlessly, and every corner we turn looks the same as the last.

* * *

After about another twenty minutes of walking, the rabbit stops as I continue making my way towards him.

"Stop moving!" he whispers to me. I stop, and he begins looking all around, his ears twitching this way and that. His eyes grow wider, and I'm beginning to get a little unnerved.

"We're being followed!" I can tell by his expression that whoever is following us must not be friendly.

Before either of us has a chance to move, we're suddenly surrounded by what appear to be men dressed as playing cards. Six of them stand around us. Each of them has a sword in their hand, and a very nasty expression on their face.

One of them steps forward, the 8 of spades, and points his sword at me.

"By order of the Queen," he bellows, "you are to come with us immediately to face your execution!"

"Execution?" I ask, the fear in my voice abundantly apparent, "But, I've done nothing wrong!"

"It matters not to us. You may either prolong your death by coming with us to the palace, or die here in this forsaken forest."

"That's hardly a nice way to speak about someone's home." a voice calls out from the distance. "Six against two hardly seems fair, wouldn't you say?" the voice asks, mockingly, "Let's see if we can't even the odds a bit."

I hear a soft noise of darts or something similar flying through the air, and in the blink of an eye five of the six soldiers fall to the ground dead. I stare in amazement at the fallen soldiers, leaving myself completely unprepared when the last one grabs me and holds his blade to my throat.

"Show yourself, or I will end her life right now!" he shouts, clearly frightened by his unseen adversary.

"Tsk, tsk," the voice mocks, "didn't your mother ever teach you anything? That is no way to treat a lady." I hear the soft noise again and the soldier falls dead, dragging me to the ground with him. I yell in surprise as a hand catches my own and pulls me back on my feet.

Once I regain my balance I finally look into the face of my rescuer. He's a young man, wearing a very goofy looking top hat that only just covers up his shaggy brown locks. He smiles at me and chuckles.

"Well, well, well, look who finally came back."

****I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, sososososo so sorry to everone who waited for this chapter. Shortly after finishing chapter 3 and promising a shorter delay on chapter 4, my computer broke beyond repair and it has literally taken me months to get a new one. However, I'm back and the creative juices have started flowing again. This chapter took me about an hour to write (I know it's still pretty short but cut me some slack) but I already have a general idea on what I want to do with at least the next 3 chapters. As always review and subscribe!**


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